Adventures in Baby Spitting

I admit, I’ve been a lagging blogger. It’s not for a lack of things to write about—the boys are meeting new milestones every week. But my time has been compromised, with work, exercise, and motherhood. I think I’ve said this before, but I did not understand the phrase “not enough hours in the day” until I had children. I’ve had to prioritize, so blogging (and cleaning) have taken a back seat to my paycheck, waistline, and twins.

Adventures in Food

The boys eat their meals side-by-side in two highchairs. I’ve noticed that when I place the exact same food item on both of their trays, they reach for their brother’s tray. I guess when it belongs to someone else it just tastes better.

PLEASE give us a bath.

Grayden has started to spit his food. In the last week, I have been sprayed with chicken, squash, yogurt, banana, and mashed potatoes. He started this bad habit with his father, who encouraged the happy spitter by laughing. Grayden laughed back, and the game began. I, however, do not find it so funny, since I am the recipient of sprayed food 16 times a week. I’ve firmly said “No,” swatted his hand, and given the evil eye. It all makes Grayden laugh harder. Finally, I decided to wipe his mouth with a wet cloth every time he does it (something both my boys hate). He got swiped 8 times in about 30 seconds that first day, but has finally started to associate spit food with cold wet towels. I have a feeling that Grayden will always be the one to challenge us. Although his daddy might quickly pass the spoon, I’m not one to back down from a challenge. Game on, Gray.

I’ve started hiding treats in the playroom every morning. They were quick to pick up on this, and now spend every morning scouring the room looking in my favorite hiding spots. It dawned on me that they just think the food magically appears, having no idea that I put it there because I love them. But isn’t that what parenthood is all about? Disguising love with magic.

Adventures in Mobility

Both boys are walking. Although Grayden was the last to stand, he was the first to walk somewhere on his own. His sense of balance is quite amazing, and he can stand unaided for several minutes. Once he mastered this, moving forward was literally the next logical step. 

Ren began walking just to make me smile. This kid likes to please me, so we began a game of walking between me and the giant stuffed turtle that inhabits our playroom (thanks, Aunt GiGi!). He would take 3 or 4 steps and fall onto the turtle, then turn around and take 3 or 4 steps until he fell into me. Larry called him a “High Walker” in this early stage, because he would begin on flat feet and end up on his tippy toes. It was more like a run than a walk, too, but I moved farther away from the turtle each day and Ren never failed to run between us. Once Grayden showed Ren that walking is more leisurely and deliberate, Ren started slowing down and now he walks to get where he wants instead of to get a smile out of mom. We still play the turtle game, though, just because his own crooked smile is priceless.

I can walk, too!

Adventures in Communication

Ren has stalled on “Mama,” “Dada,” and a few words he randomly repeats. Gray, though, is saying several words. “Ball,” is his favorite, and today he said “Touchdown!” (I even had a witness for that one).

Both boys have started to dance, but neither is pointing. Fine motor skills have never been their strong suit. Grayden does clap whenever we show excitement, and Ren has proven he can clap, but mostly he just waves both hands up and down.

Adventures in Plagiocephaly

I started to wonder if I had made the right decisions about the helmets every time I looked at Ren’s head. He just wasn’t growing and his head was still a blaring parallelogram. He was scanned after wearing the helmet for 13 weeks and showed no change. At his 16 week appointment, I could still tell that we had a long way to go, even without the scan. But then things started to change quite quickly. I gave him a bath about 18 weeks into the helmet and was amazed by what I was seeing. You have to see their heads wet to gauge their progress, as their hair—especially Ren’s curls—can deceive you. But Ren’s head looked REALLY round. So I was anxious to see his scan at 19 weeks. And I was not disappointed:

 His head circumference was nearly perfect! Gray, on the other hand, had slowed down. He made great changes in the beginning, but between 13 and 19 weeks, he had not made much progress:

We’ve decided to keep them in the helmets for 6 more weeks. I know they work, and our orthotist thinks we can get a little more change from them. Even though Ren’s circumference looks good, you can still see some deformity in places. I am anxious to be done with the helmets, but we’ve come this far and I need to see it through.

As for United Healthcare, (this line has been removed for profanity). It turns out that it is perfectly legal for them to make exceptions for some members but not others. Most of the families who have been granted exceptions work for a company with a large, powerful HR department; the HR head makes a phone call and UHC covers a helmet. I work for a company with a one-woman HR department, and UHC is not really concerned whether it loses our business (nor is my HR department willing to switch insurance companies). So I am sadly stuck.

They have provided a final denial on Grayden, but they are still giving me the run-around on Ren. Their representatives have a very hard time keeping my children straight (I feel for the member calling on behalf of triplets), so most calls to them are over 30 minutes long and result in a supervisor eventually lying to me or hanging up on me just to get me off the phone. For my last call, I requested a final denial letter for Ren, just like the one I received for Grayden. Instead, they sent me a copy of the first denial letter with the word “COPY” stamped on it. Often I will mail letters rather than deal with incompetent phone representatives, but all letters have to be sent by certified mail with a return receipt, or they deny receiving them.

I have no doubt that these helmets will be covered for severe cases of plagiocephaly in the future. New Jersey recently passed a law requiring all insurance companies to cover them. I sent letters to my state representatives, but like most politicians, they “passed the buck” with a letter stating they would send my requests on to someone at the State Department of Insurance (even though my cc list included the SDI). The State Department of Insurance wrote that they cannot help me unless I want to bring a discrimination suit against UHC. And the man that I spoke to from the Federal Department of Labor said that the insurance company is allowed to pick and choose who to make exceptions for, so I cannot claim discrimination. Urgh. I know that some parents pursue helmets for slight cosmetic issues or because they failed to prevent plagio from happening. But I had preemies, multiples, and children with congenital torticollis—the big three in plagiocephaly. This was not our fault, and it’s a crime that it’s not covered. If I had the money to hire a lawyer, I’d go after them on principal. But if I had the money to pay for a lawyer, I probably wouldn’t be worried about the cost of the helmets in the first place.

Now it’s on to grant applications.

Stay tuned…. We have a first birthday in six short days.

First bath together (at least the first one in a real tub).