Family Parking Spaces: Safety in Parking Lots for Stroller-Bound Children

When I was learning to drive, I clearly remember my mother telling me "Parking lots are free-for-alls. You have to be defensive and ready for anything." And while I've made it 20 some years without an accident in a parking lot (although the same cannot be said for my car---never lend your car to friends and coworkers), those words have haunted me since taking the boys on their first outing to the store.

Let's examine how the mother of a singleton navigates a parking lot. If she has one child---say an infant---she unsnaps the infant seat, carries in into the store, and places it in a shopping cart. If she has a toddler, she takes him out of the car seat, carries him into the store, and places him in a shopping cart. If she has two children, one a toddler and the other 4 or 5 years old, she carries the toddler while holding the hand of the older child. A little more difficult, but still quite do-able. If she's lucky, she stumbles on a cart before even reaching the store, placing the toddler in the seat and the older child in the basket.

Now let's look at a mother of twins. Take me for instance. When we go to the store, I look for a parking space as far away as possible, preferably without cars on either side. I take my stroller out of the back of the car, and then ponder "Which side of the car is most visible to other cars driving by?" In lots with perpendicular parking spots and two-way traffic, both sides are equally dangerous, but in lots with angled spots and one-way traffic, the far side of the car is less visible and thus the most dangerous. I get the child on this side first. Then I move to the other side, praying that no one has taken the parking spot next to me so that I can fit the stroller next to the car. If I can't fit the stroller, the child already strapped into it sits vulnerably at the back of my car. I cannot describe the uneasiness I feel in those moments, unbuckling the second child but warily watching traffic and the stroller handles visible over the back of my car. If the parking space is still open and my stroller fits, I wheel it up next to the door. I still have to look away for the 60 seconds it takes to unbuckle the second twin, and I spend the entire time praying that someone does not come whipping into the spot next to me without seeing my child sitting there in the short, hard-to-spot stroller. And that's just getting out of the car. Getting back in takes twice as long, and usually by the time we emerge from the store, the spots on either side of my car are taken.

Every time we go to the grocery or Walmart or Target or Lowe's, I have to go through these same bouts of terror. I am not the only one. The twin moms in my online communities complain of the same fears. I am sure all mothers of two small, stroller-bound children--whether twins or not---experience the same thing when they are heading to the grocery store.

We protect the disabled in parking lots. All retail parking lots are required by law to have handicapped spaces. I walk by those spots on my way into the store, with their loading zones on each side, and I wonder why we not protect our small children in the same manner.

Parents of higher-order multiples, such as triplets and quads, are often given handicapped parking placards for the first two or three years of their children's lives. I mentioned this to the twin moms on the message boards, but nearly all of them were adamant about not taking those spots from the truly disabled. So I did more research, and learned that in Great Britain, there are "Family Parking" spaces. These are located near the front of the store and they all have loading zones along the sides of the space. Perfect, right? Apparently not. They are not regulated by law, so parents with healthy 8 year olds take them without a thought about the parents who really need them. Some parents of twins on UK message boards said that people are so rude, they never had the opportunity to park in Family Parking spaces at all while their children were small!

So I wondered how we could remedy that here, and there are two solutions:

1. Regulate the Family Parking as we do Handicapped Parking. Pediatricians would have to provide Family Parking Placards, and police would have to fine those who parked illegally.
2. Move the Family Parking spaces further back. If you place them where they are less convenient, people who do not need them are less likely to take them. I have no problem walking from the back of the lot if it means my children are safe. There is a safety issue here, though, if they are placed too far away from the store, especially if parking at night.

Furthermore, if Family Parking is ever offered, stores should also have a cart corral adjacent to the spots with shopping carts that can hold two small children in the seat. All of Sam's Club carts accommodate two children, so there is no reason why other stores could not have them. But they need to be housed close to the parking area. When I go to Sam's, I have to lock my kids in the car and go get a shopping cart, because unlike a mother of one toddler, I cannot carry both of them into the store where the carts are kept. Again, pure terror as I run in to get the cart and pray my babies are okay for the 30 seconds I am away. These double shopping carts would actually be an asset to the store. I cannot tell you how many times I have passed up purchases because I couldn't fit any more items in the under-stroller storage basket.

Great ideas, right? I thought so. So I sent letters to all the major retailers in my area, including Walmart, Target, Walgreens, Harris Teeter, and Publix. After all, the number of multiple births---especially twin births---is skyrocketing. There are 76% more twins births today than in 1980, and 47% more today than in 1990. On Friday I was at Target and saw two sets of young twins in the store. All of us parents had our children in strollers. And there are many women who have children within 12 to 18 months of each other who could benefit from a solution as well. So I asked for Family Parking spaces, located away from the store, complete with loading zones and double shopping carts nearby.

So far all I've gotten is "Thank-you-for-your-suggestion" letters signed by an employee with a single name ("Sincerely, Karen,") so I know I am not being taken seriously. I've thought about starting a petition on Change.org, but I'm just not sure who to send the petition to. The CEOs of individual stores? Government officials? The American Academy of Pediatrics? Unless my letter happens to randomly come across the desk of a parent of multiples (and one who has actually taken his children to the store), I'm afraid no one will really care. I know that this issue will not be solved while my boys are still small enough to benefit from the solution, but I'll do anything to save future twin moms from the parking lot terror I've experienced for the last 18 months. I'm defensive. I'm ready for anything. I just don't know how to protect our kids in the free-for-all.

If you have any ideas, please send them my way.

How to shop with an umbrella stroller.